Growing Pains Question Two


I consider myself a “seeker after the truth.” I’m very interested in spiritual development, my own and other people’s. Sometimes, though, I get really confused about the concept of destiny. It’s like I hit a brick wall when this idea is put on the table. If we each have a destiny already outlined for us, what’s the point?


Great question. You and a few million other people throughout history and in the present time have been uncomfortably confused about this one. Sometimes there are other words used, like people talking about free will versus God’s plan for us; fate versus creating our own reality, etc.

In some ways, human brains like to think digitally. We are most at ease with concepts that are black or white, “either this. . .or that.” One of the ways you can tell how far along someone is in their spiritual development is if they are able to also think beyond dichotomies. If you stay on the path of developing your spirituality, you discover there are concepts that appear to be contradictory to each other but both or all of which are true. The understanding that while logic is wonderful and useful in many situations, there is a truth beyond logic; this ability to tolerate ambiguity often grows as people have a growing connection with the divine. God’s Truth is so much bigger than the truth to which human beings can arrive.

Yes, we have free will and yes, we have a destiny. Some people argue that we have free will in the small stuff but our destiny decides the big picture. Personally, I don’t believe this. I believe we don’t have to worry about where our free will ends and our destiny begins or vice versa, because it’s really all the same thing, and something we’re not going to completely understand anyway, given the limitations of our humanness. When I am trying to figure out what choices I want to make in some part of life that raises this dichotomy, I like to remember one of my favorite sayings. Destiny is the whispering of your soul about the most likely direction you will be taking.